There is so much pressure on women to experience mind-blowing orgasms and on their partners to give them these experiences. Yet very little attention is given to the understanding of the female orgasm. What does it really mean, how does it work, and what does it mean if you aren’t experiencing it?
Thanks to ongoing research into female sexuality, and more openness about sex, we now know more than ever about female orgasms. But it can be difficult to discern the truth, amidst all the hype.
We aim to educate and inform people about these topics by giving clear, factual information that is easy to understand. In our complete guide to female orgasm, below, we also answer your most common questions about this topic.
What this article covers:
- What Is a Female Orgasm
- How Do Female Orgasms Work?
- Types of Female Orgasms
- What Happens When a Woman Orgasms?
- What Happens After a Woman Orgasms?
- Is Manual Stimulation of the Clitoris Necessary for a Female Orgasm?
- Is Stimulation of the G-Spot Necessary for a Female Orgasm?
- Female Orgasm (FAQs)
What Is a Female Orgasm
What is a female orgasm, and why is it important to understand how it works? Like most things in life, a deeper understanding can lead to better performance and more enjoyment of an activity. It is the same with sex. While you may learn a lot from experience, sometimes you need a guide.
The female orgasm has been studied a lot in recent times, and we now know a lot about what it is and how it works. When one speaks of orgasm in females, it is a description of the release of heightened sexual tension that is built up during the arousal stage of sex.
A woman can have an orgasm without penetrative sex, through other sexual acts, and even during masturbation. The presence of a partner is not necessary for a female to experience an orgasm. A female can orgasm through masturbation alone or mutual masturbation with a partner.
Do Women Cum?
If what you mean by the word cum is ejaculate, yes, they do! But research findings differ on the percentage of women who experience female ejaculation. Female ejaculation usually refers to the release of fluid from a female’s urethra during orgasm or sexual arousal.
If squirting is what you were referring to, yes this can also occur, but it seems to be less frequent. Many people confuse the two, but female ejaculation and squirting are in fact two different things.
What they do have in common, is that they are usually triggered during sexual arousal, and by stimulation of the clitoris or g-spot. Ejaculation and squirting are usually more important to men than to women. They are seen as signs that she is enjoying herself. Relax guys, she probably is! Whether she cums or not.
Can Girls Control When They Cum?
Not really. As orgasm is a physiological response to heightened tension, it cannot really be “controlled”. What you can control, though, is the setting for building that tension, and the triggers that usually lead to that release of tension.
Premature ejaculation is not a problem for women as it is for men. So whether or not a woman cums, how often she does so, and when are not strictly relevant. A woman can continue to enjoy a sexual encounter and have more orgasms, even after she has cum.
Why Do Women Have Orgasms?
Do orgasms perform any function, other than pleasure? They release the build-up of sexual tension. This is the primary function of orgasm. The reason that it can feel so intense at times, is that that release of tension is so sudden. The more aroused, the more tension – and the more intense the orgasm.
That usually leads to a relaxed state, and this gets influenced even further by the release of the “feel good” hormone, oxytocin. Oxytocin has become known as the love hormone or orgasm hormone, for this reason.
What Causes a Female Climax?
When a woman becomes aroused, the body reacts in several ways. The face becomes flushed. Blood flow to the pelvic region increases, breathing and heart rate increase as well, and the nipples become erect.
The vagina also tightens to grip a penis (or whatever you use for penetrative sex). Many muscles in the rest of the body, including the thighs and butt, also tighten. All that tension builds up to a point where it needs to be released.
How Do Female Orgasms Work?
So, how do female orgasms work? What sensations do women feel, and can you feel when a woman orgasms? While this may be important to some men, the reality is that it doesn’t actually matter. Some men claim to feel it, but what matters is that your female partner feels it!
The female orgasm naturally feels different to a man than it does to a woman. If you have a female partner, you may not understand what an orgasm feels like for her. It is very different from how a male experiences orgasm.
How Does a Female Orgasm Feel to a Woman?
When the uterus, vagina, and anus contract simultaneously after the release of that sexual tension, that is experienced as an orgasm. There are usually 3 – 5 such contractions, although some women may experience more, depending on the amount of built-up tension being released.
Women experience orgasms differently, though. These contractions can feel like deep and intense waves of pleasure. They can also feel like lesser ripples of excitement. This is largely due to the amount of tension being released from the body.
There are other contributing factors, though. It depends on where the orgasm is primarily felt. The area of the body that has the most stored-up sexual tension will produce the strongest contractions. That is why women can feel it more intensely in their vagina at times, and at other times not so much.
How Does a Female Orgasm Feel to a Man?
Most men probably don’t physically “feel” their female partner’s orgasm on and around their penis. When they do, it is usually the guys with bigger penises that have more girth.
Many other sensations that accompany orgasm are detectable, such as trembling legs, or moans of pleasure. That is probably way more exciting for a man to witness, anyway. But sometimes, you just can’t tell. The female orgasm is not always as epic as demonstrated in popular culture.
How long does a female orgasm take? Many women take a while to reach orgasm, far longer than men do. However, some women reach orgasm more quickly, especially if being stimulated on the clitoris or the g-spot.
Stress can play a role too. If a woman is anxious, stressed, or uneasy in any way an orgasm may be delayed. Mental and emotional factors can play a large role in both women’s and men’s sexual functions. This is something that can be addressed through couples’ counseling or a chat with a sex therapist.
Types of Female Orgasms
What about how long a female orgasm lasts? That depends on the woman and the type of orgasm. That’s right, there are different types of female orgasms, and we will explore the most common types now.
This is when a woman experiences the orgasmic release of tension, primarily as vaginal contractions. This is mostly described as being a less intense yet longer-lasting orgasm than a clitoral one.
A vaginal orgasm is more likely when the g-spot has been stimulated, although this is not always necessary. The g-spot is a sensitive zone said to be located about an inch or so inside the vagina, against the upper vaginal wall.
Most women experience orgasms when their clitoris is stimulated, and some are only able to orgasm this way.
It is usually described as being powerful yet short-lived. However, all women do not agree on exactly how they want that stimulation to occur. The amount of preferred pressure also differs.
Some women“squirt” when they have an orgasm. When this happens, a gush of fluid is released from the urethral opening. Recent research suggests that diluted urine makes up a large portion of this fluid.
But is a squirting orgasm better than any other kind? No, it’s just one of many ways a woman can experience orgasm. Of course, you can have an orgasm without squirting and most women do, it seems.
Ejaculation with Orgasm
This, too, is not such a common experience. Or rather, it is not usually noticed. The reason may be that it is not quite as dramatic as squirting.
Female ejaculation releases a small amount of a milky white substance, which is less fluid than the secretion expelled through squirting. Not all women report experiencing this, and that is perfectly normal.
What Happens When a Woman Orgasms?
Can a woman have too many orgasms? No, although many women enjoy cuddling after an orgasm, and this may seem to be a reluctance to go for round two. Although some women get tired after an orgasm, the main reason is the good hormones that have been released encourage bonding.
This is why many women prefer to relax and cuddle for a while. But there is something called the refractory period between women’s orgasms, and that is also a factor in the need for breaks between orgasms. This is, however, not a major factor for women like it is for men.
What is the Refractory Period?
The refractory period is defined as the period immediately following stimulation, during which the nerves or muscles are unresponsive to continued stimulation. This is a reality for both men and women, after an orgasm.
During the refractory period, continued stimulation is not only too intense but can be very uncomfortable. Some sources claim that women do not have this refractory period.
This is probably because it is not always noticeable. The refractory period for a woman is very short. It lasts about 5 seconds or less. This short refractory period is part of the reason why women, unlike men, can have multiple orgasms.
What Happens After a Woman Orgasms?
The benefits of female orgasm go beyond the release of tension and the feeling of pleasure. Remember that feel-good hormone we mentioned? Oxytocin performs several functions in the body, especially in the female body.
Oxytocin is not only a hormone but also a neurotransmitter. It is the hormone responsible for a pregnant women’s labor contractions as well as breast milk letdown. It is also responsible for erections in men and orgasms.
The Role of Oxytocin
Surprisingly, it is also linked to improved mental and emotional states. In a committed partnership, this hormone contributes to relationship harmony after lovemaking. But how, and why?
Studies indicate that oxytocin may lower stress and reduce anxiety. This is good news for everyone, whether in a relationship or not. It does, however, help to ease the tension that you may be experiencing in your partnership.
Oxytocin may also lift your mood, although the reasons behind this are not clearly understood. It is also responsible for arousal, which explains why one can get aroused again soon after sex. The moral of the story is, that for more active sex life, you need to have sex. It’s a cycle of pleasure, thanks to oxytocin.
Is Manual Stimulation of the Clitoris Necessary for a Female Orgasm?
While many believe that it is, this is not necessarily the case. It is, however, essential for most women.
This is because only a few women can have an orgasm through penetrative sex alone. In a study in the US, it was revealed that 81.6% of women don’t orgasm from penetrative sex. This means that only 18.4 percent do!
There are, of course, many ways in which this can be achieved. The clitoris can be stimulated before sex, as part of foreplay. It can also be stimulated during intercourse, as part of the whole experience. It doesn’t have to be with the fingers, either. Licking or sucking this little bundle of nerves will do the trick, too.
Beware of Too Much Stimulation or Pressure
The clitoris is the small but sensitive erectile female genital organ that plays a major role in female sexual arousal. It contains several sensory nerve endings, and when these are stimulated enough, this action can result in female orgasm.
The clitoris can become oversensitized pretty quickly, though. The best way to handle this issue is to start gently and build up more pressure. And give it a chance to relax a bit after an orgasm. A too-sensitive clitoris is more likely to produce discomfort than multiple orgasms.
Adequate lubrication is key for clitoral stimulation to remain pleasant and not uncomfortable. The vagina naturally becomes moist during arousal, but in peri- and post-menopausal women, this may be reduced. When in doubt, reach for the lube.
Is Stimulation of the G-Spot Necessary for a Female Orgasm?
Like the clitoris, the g-spot can be zeroed in on for increasing the chances of female orgasm. It is not essential but can be useful, especially if you want more intense orgasms.
The g-spot can be difficult to stimulate through penetration alone. And thanks to its position on the front inside wall of the vagina, it is not so easy to get to with a penis or ordinary dildo. Fortunately, certain sex positions make it easier, such as the “cowgirl” (woman on top) or “doggy style” (rear vaginal entry).
How to Reach the G-Spot Without a Partner
If you’re in a same-sex relationship ladies, that’s no problem. Assuming these positions with a strap-on can produce the same desired effect. Don’t have a partner? That’s also no problem either! A wide variety of g-spot stimulators are available online, specially angled to better hit that sweet spot.
The female orgasm is an amazing and multi-faceted experience. We hope that, with a better understanding of how the female body reacts during sex, you will be able to enjoy more frequent and more intense orgasms.
However, an earth-shaking orgasm should not be the main focus. Sex is about so much more than that. The sights, sounds, smells, and feelings involved all contribute to the pleasure of sex. This is true for all types of relationships and all genders.
Female Orgasm (FAQs)
Do trans women experience orgasms after lower gender-affirming surgery?
There are different types of gender-affirming surgeries available. In the case of a vaginoplasty, a vaginal canal and labia are created after the removal of the penis, testicles, and scrotum. A clitoris may be constructed from a portion of the glans penis. Therefore, a clitoral orgasm is indeed possible.
Do women in same-sex relationships have more orgasms than in male-female relationships?
According to research, women in heterosexual relationships experience fewer orgasms than bisexual women and lesbians do. Many women cannot orgasm through penetration alone. Oral sex along with other non-penetrative activities common in these relationships, contribute to the higher rate of orgasm.
Is it harmful to never have an orgasm as a woman?
Many women report never having experienced an orgasm. This is not a cause for concern, as it does not cause any physical harm. However, orgasms increase the enjoyment of sex, and as such are something you may want to encourage. Speak to a sex therapist for advice on enjoying this experience, yourself.
Have you enjoyed this piece? Then consider checking other guides:
- Female Ejaculation
- What Does Squirting Feel Like
- Why Do Girls Squirt
- Is Female Ejaculation Pee
- Do Trans Women Have Orgasms
- Can Women Cum Without an Orgasm
- How Often Should Women Orgasm
- Best Sex Positions for Female Orgasms
- Best Positions for Squirting
- How to Make a Girl Squirt
- How to Make Yourself Squirt
- How to Cum as a Girl
- How to Squirt During Sex
- How to Make a Woman Orgasm
- How to Make a Girl Have Multiple Orgasms